This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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