YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
