Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i already hear my dad disowning me
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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