My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize