when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
