She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
