He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
