Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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