the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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