I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
