Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
