I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
