She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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