Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
