just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
