super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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