Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
