I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
