I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
