based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
