Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
