she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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