Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
