How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
