you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
