how can u be prego again
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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