Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?