I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing