Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.

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  (404): This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect. http://tfl.nu/w6ad
  Replies (17) Good night (1143) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available

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  (562): hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available http://tfl.nu/v31e
  Replies (5) Good night (985) Bad night (397) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."

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  (517): They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what." http://tfl.nu/ufo0
  Replies (3) Good night (1814) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?

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  (503): Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes? http://tfl.nu/o6hc
  Replies (7) Good night (2837) Bad night (441) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits

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  (602): I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits http://tfl.nu/rsyd
  Replies (54) Good night (1144) Bad night (7011) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina

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  (518): i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina http://tfl.nu/y9lz
  Replies (104) Good night (12198) Bad night (724) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off

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  (443): he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off http://tfl.nu/yisu
  Replies (30) Good night (1870) Bad night (4315) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog

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  (860): Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog http://tfl.nu/fdsx
  Replies (27) Good night (1388) Bad night (7152) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph

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  (732): all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time (1-732): swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph http://tfl.nu/tobf
  Replies (11) Good night (4630) Bad night (936)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad

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  (314): Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad http://tfl.nu/ilsx
  Replies (19) Good night (1094) Bad night (2712) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  She's the barista slut.

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  (240): She's the barista slut. http://tfl.nu/aqi5
  Replies (14) Good night (2469) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house

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  (425): i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house http://tfl.nu/3ff4
  Replies (40) Good night (7722) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  we need to find an occasion to wear tutus

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  (503): we need to find an occasion to wear tutus http://tfl.nu/4dk7
  Replies (17) Good night (1816) Bad night (485) Order T-Shirt
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  (695): View more from

  it was like a congratulatory penis slap

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  (695): it was like a congratulatory penis slap http://tfl.nu/qsp5
  Replies (17) Good night (1107) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.

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  (717): Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together. http://tfl.nu/4ceo
  Replies (6) Good night (1256) Bad night (299)

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