Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
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Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
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Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.