I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
