drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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