All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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