She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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