Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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