toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
