The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
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its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
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The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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