Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
