I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
one might say we're banned from that church
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
