WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
