I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
