Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
