Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
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just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize