Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
