week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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