Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
