So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
