The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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