We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
