She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
