Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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