i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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