he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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