You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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