Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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