I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
