By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
