We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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