hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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